Tag: Caring

Practice the Pause

In my wisdom years, I am learning more the value of the pause, and one day at a time, making every day count, which is really all we have, right? We live daily until our last breath, then there’s the afterlife.

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Only God knows what tomorrow will bring, much more each single day beyond that.

Here’s what I know: you are alive today. Your people need your love and full presence. When your time (or your beloved’s time) comes to leave this earth, let it be with love, knowing you did your best.

A final note: When a loved one departs, don’t make any big decisions for awhile, you will not be able to make wise choices so soon. Allow the memories to wash over you, along with some mixed thoughts and feelings.

You may feel alone in this necessary time of processing the great loss, and you will come through it. You are not alone, and will never be. God has you, and you have God.

Peace Within

In scripture, as with my own story, I have learned peace is a gift from God. Receive God’s gift of peace for yourself today. Take a moment and use your calming breaths, release body tension, and recognize God’s Spirit dwelling in you.

“The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

(written with inspiration from “The Upper Room”)

Troubling Dream, God’s Reply

I had a troubling dream about feeling useless in retirement, and wondering if I made a difference in ministry. Then I felt guilty for having such an egotistical thought in my dream. Then awoke to this scripture today., and the reminder that I will continue in ministry as a hospital chaplain. Thank you Jesus.

Do you ever wonder if what you do matters? Hear the word of the Lord:
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” Hebrews 6:10

Pneumonia is Hard

Neighbors, our first responders did sign up for this, and are well and continually trained, including natural compassion. Call when you need them.

I have been as ill with this pneumonia as I was with Covid last fall. I almost called our first responders a few nights ago at 2:30 a.m., but didn’t want to bother them. At the same time, I knew that was irrational thinking from my high fever, rigors, and erratic heart rate.

I did necessarily go to E.R. for several hours the next day, got wonderful care at Unity Health, witnessed infinite patience and compassion as staff faced all manner of extreme cases arrive. We agreed I would go home and keep in close contact with our medical team.

Now I am on the healing side, thanks be to God’s mercy and a just-right-for-me husband (aka caregiver).

When Someone Passes Away

As a Chaplain, I read this good article written by a grieving mother, about what was helpful and what was not, for her. Maybe it will help you too.

What To Say When Someone Dies – 8 Sympathy Messages To Replace “I’m Sorry”

Unwell?

It seems like bad things happen at the worst times possible, physical or financial, just when we have so much planned!  Sometimes, we are not just told to cut back a bit and do less, but we feel like we’re been completely shut down from doing anything productive or useful.  It’s frustrating, disappointing, disheartening, we get jealous of others who can do or go more, we feel left out, misunderstood, pitied by others, etc.

It feels crummy.

I have learned some gritty lessons from seriously ill patients, as well as others with devastating financial problems, and endless and excessive family/work demands.  I even learned a lot from my own experience with a badly broken leg  – bedridden, off work, then wheelchair-bound, etc. for several weeks, and experiencing unexpected depression.

One of the things I’ve learned in my chaplaincy visits, when I stop trying to fix their issues, I can hear them better.  We can both hear God better too!

When people lose the ability to physically do the things they want, some grow in peace, grace and wisdom – after an initial adjustment period.  Priorities get adjusted, humility develops (replacing the POISON of resentment) and perspective changes.  In some cases, it’s a relief to have to let go of some things that really are unrealistic even when in full health.  Facing and accepting our limitations can be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s unsafe and unhealthy to not receive that medicine.

Time is limited and incredibly valuable – for all of us.  That crazy feeling running train of thought for all the things we need (or want) to do seems never ending.  When sidelined, quiet down a bit, turn to God and can hear Him better.  It helps. 

When I visit with people in hospice, they sometimes feel lost, especially unable to do for themselves or others.  But listen to them, their thoughts and words are even more precious and frequently filled with wisdom.

Offer the best gift, your time, listen, really hear their heart words.  Make time.  It matters.

Peace be with your spirit, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit!